I Am No Houdini

No, I have not disappeared, I promise. I have just been quite busy lately. Planning things, dealing with things, etc. I will try to post more often about what’s going on in life and what matters to me. Sometimes life just becomes too damn hectic, and you just have to take time to deal. And everyone who knows me knows that I don’t deal well with stress and stuff. But, in all honesty, I’ve been doing pretty well with this. I mean, all things considered

So, in recent news, I’ve been planning on doing a new series on YouTube. I’m calling it “<img src>” (image source) with series like ““… and yes, it’s a nod to geekiness, hence the HTML image source tag title. So, will be starting soon. I’m waiting around to do the heavy editing with my good laptop once I get it repaired in December. I have a green screen set up, but I’m working around getting the lighting up. It’s not so easy when you’re in an apartment that has so many stupid restrictions. So, while I’m getting all of that set up and waiting around to get my laptop fixed, I will be finding any weird photos on the interwebs for said series. So, if you have any to send, whether you took them yourself or you found them or maybe got it from a friend, send it my way! My email is khaos@thegodofkhaos.com. Make sure to put “img src” in the subject line as to let me know it’s not spam.

And, yes, my laptop is kind of fucked at the moment. But, as I said I am getting it repaired in December. So, I will be able to do my normal interweb things normally rather than abnormally on this POS laptop that I paid $300 for. I do have to admit, though, at least it works. Since I don’t have any other computer. I do eventually want to build a beast of a computer for production, though. But that’s a ways down the road.

Also, I have created a Discord server for those who follow me. I used to run an IRC chat but just recently found that Discord servers are easier to manage. Even though I created bots for my IRC channel. I am working on Discord bots now, though. So that’s a thing. It would be cool if I could have the same concepts in Discord bots that I had in my IRC bots. I’m fairly sure I can do it, it’s just using a different programming language instead of MSL. But, as far as my Discord server goes, I will be sharing access fairly soon.

And as always, I’ll catch you next time!

Plans And Goals For The Future

I’ve been thinking a lot about what plans and goals I want to make for the future. And I’ve pretty much decided what I want to do. It’s a good possibility I may be moving next year. This isn’t exactly set in stone, but it’s in talks. I’m going for a broadcasting school in the area I am in talks to moving to. I already have a place to stay. So, that won’t be an issue. Plus, it’s closer to LA, which is my eventual goal to move to just to work for Philip DeFranco. So, this move will help a lot. Plus, I’d be away from Michigan, which I hate with a purple passion. At first, I loved it, but now, it’s made its way onto my shit list of states to live in.

But, with this potential move, it would bring about more things I can get done. Being in a toxic environment never helps. And getting away from it will help tremendously. As I said, it’s still in talks of when the move will happen. It’ll be sometime next year. Most likely when I have saved the money for the rental truck and gas. Because between Michigan and Arizona, that’s quite a drive. So, there are plans to make between now and then. And, anyone who follows me on my site and social media knows that I hate Michigan.

So, with this potential move, a lot of doors will most likely open for me. Being away from friends and family will probably be tough, but I think it’ll be worth it. Plus, it’s not like it’ll be permanent. I just need away from this toxic environment. It’s getting to the point that I cannot stand it anymore. I need to do away with negativity and surround myself with positivity. Plus, I’ve found schools out there, including broadcasting and MMA schools. So, I’m set on that already.

Looking back at all the problems I’ve had, it was always one person who instigated them. So, getting away from that itself will help tremendously, Which will definitely be a good thing for me. So, I’m definitely looking forward to it. And even though she may read this, and that’s okay, because the truth has to come out sooner or later. I’d rather it be sooner because hiding behind this facade is killing me. Me and my birth mother clash at times, not all the time, but quite a few. And most of the times I’ve hurt myself usually it was instigated by her. She just knows what buttons to push that can push me over the edge. I’m not saying she always does it on purpose, but she can make comments that can cut pretty deep, which is usually what pushes me to to the edge.

Back in 2015, when I last attempted suicide, it was her that pushed me over the edge. I’m lucky as fuck I have friends who care enough to help. Because I only told one person the night of the attempt. She cared enough to contact my brother, who was at work at the time, who then called home to check to see if I was okay. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I somehow I made it through the night and survived. To which I am not wasting my life anymore.

So, this move to Arizona will open up some doors for me, because I feel like it’s something I need to do. Not just want, but need. It’s more than just wanting to go. I think it’ll be good for me. As I always say, the end justifies the means.

So, stay tuned guys, my adventures will continue. And they will only get better from here.